How To Deal With Opinionated Parents
Help! My parents are trying to control my wedding
We all love our parents. But sometimes wedding planning can cause tension between you.
Especially when your mother wants to invite all her co-workers and your father wants a wedding cigar bar.
When it comes to weddings, everyone has an opinion.
And, your parents might act like wedding planners and feel entitled to organize the wedding as they see fit.
Even if they are helping you out financially, they don’t own you or your wedding.
If you’re wondering how to deal with your overbearing — but lovely — parents and future in-laws, keep reading.
Papa Don't Preach
You are an adult. And adults set boundaries and talk about their feelings.
Make sure your parents know that you and your fiance have full control of YOUR wedding.
Let them know that it’s important to you and your fiance that your wedding speaks to your authentic personality.
You’re going to make the big decisions on your own.
You don’t need to prove anything to them. Of course, your parents will try to intervene, but show them that you can handle any problem.
Once they see that their “baby” has grown and can handle life and all obstacles, they will probably take a step back.
Keep Your Eyes On The Prize
If you want your parents involved in the wedding planning, but have strong feelings about some decisions, just let them know exactly where you want their help.
For example, if you want to decide the centerpieces, but you don’t care about the chair covers, open up a conversation.
Your parents will be more than happy to help, give you suggestions, and take a few things off your plate.
And, don’t forget that the final decision is always yours!
Less Talking, Fewer Problems
Your wedding planning is not open mic night. If you don’t want to listen to your parents critique every decision you make, don’t give them the chance.
Keep the wedding chatter at a minimum level.
Don’t let them know that you have problems with the wedding venue or that the flowers are more expensive than you thought.
If they ask why you aren’t sharing very much, just tell them you want the big day to be a surprise for everybody.
But, you can ask for their advice on certain topics and maybe their idea is the answer you are looking for.
Or, it could point you in the right direction!
Third Party Intervention
Sometimes a person who is removed from all the emotion and commotion of the wedding will give you a helping hand.
You can ask your sibling, your favorite aunt or your Maid of Honor to handle emotional situations.
Honesty and politeness will always save the day!
But, We Love You
Always keep in mind that your parents love you very much and they have your best interest at heart. Planning a wedding is probably the last big role in your life that your parents will feel involved with.
Overstepping boundaries or upsetting you is likely an unintentional response on their part.
Of course, that doesn’t mean they can dictate your plans for your wedding. It’s still your big day.
Show Me The Money
Lastly, if you want to have absolute control over your wedding, then you might need to say goodbye to family funding.
When money is involved, your parents might think that they get the final say in where their money is being spent.
Talk with your fiance and consider paying for your wedding yourself. No family money, no problems!
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